Divorced Fathers' Dilemma

Divorced Fathers’ Delemmas

The divorced father syndrome is an ever growing phenomenon of our civilized western world. It has become a problem of astronomical proportion. Unluckily, I was one of its victims. My marriage had lasted for years with guilty feelings on my part that I had to stay in this predicament for the sake of my children. I had convinced myself that it was the only right thing for me to do. Yet I guess fate had its own plan for me. In 1999 I got divorced. I had finally made the move and like so many other divorced fathers, I figured that all my problems would now be behind me. I had terribly under estimated the consequence of my actions.

I had lost my children to my ex-wife. She now had not only control of my children but she was the main influence on my children feelings and how they perceived their father. My love for them was as strong as ever. Yet, I fell into the trap that I now felt that I needed to see my children not because I love them, but because of the guilt I felt..

It took me years to heal and accept the fact that my children still loved me and to realize that I was their father without conditions. That we had recovered from the shell-shock cause from the ordeal of the breakup of my marriage. They like I, had come to realize that it took two to Tango.

It is now nine years later. All of my boys have migrated back to Florida to live with me. During those years, certain questions have often crossed my mine on so many occasions whether my feelings were unique.

So some of these questions:

Do the average father feel responsible for the breakup of the marriage?

Do they have the emotions of guilt for abandonment of their children?

Are they constantly trying to buy back their children love?

Are fathers having a hard time accepting the fact that their children’s love are unconditional?

Lastly, what is the average recovery time for fathers’ to come to grip with their relationship with their child or children?

I would love to hear your comments on your personal experience or any opinions that you might have on the subject.

Peter Theophilopoulos

Website: www.dream-weaverchildrenstory.com

Author of children/teen stories

Blog address: http://dream-weaverchildrenstory.blogspot.com